Heavy Karma

I need to be reminded every moment to remain conscious of my heavy karma - to stay awake, to remain alert, enlightened, alight, insightful, inciting insight as much as possible in myself if in no one else.

Do you? Is it a natural state for you to remain awake every minute of your life, to capture every moment, to remember every second, to see every colour, smell every aroma, taste every flavour, savour every experience?

Most of the time, my unconscious is perfectly happy to sleep, and to put the rest of me to sleep. The work of staying awake, alert and enlightened is very difficult, sweat-breaking, back-bending, heart-crushing work - when I am awake, which seems to be not very often.

When I find myself awake, I am in the midst of unruly times, exhausted, surrounded by a mess - both physical and emotional - and unsure of the ground beneath my feet. Awake, I will for a time, briefly, sit with my eyes down in meditation and concentrate on my life in the here, hear and now. Then I throw down the challenge to wakefulness and light and breathe in darkness, breathe in light again, until all my world is once again insightful, incited to be lived, calm and ex-cited, focused on one breath in, one breath out. Be here NOW I say, and then get up and Go, Be, Do.

And begin to forget to stay awake in the world... one step forward at a time.

Breathing, one, two.

Breathing, one, two.

Breathing, one, two.

Breathing, one, two.

Breathing, one, two.